WHO licked the honey off my HONEYMOON!?!?

What have I learned from four years of marriage? I did get married at a very very young age, well according to society that is, what could I possibly know? Could I have already figured out what the key is to the ever lasting marriage? NO, are you nuts?! Marriage is a wonderful but complicated thing, I don't think even the PERFECT man and woman, will ever figure out this thing called marriage! The good news is this, in four years of marriage I have learned A LOT not only about my vows but about myself as well. 

• Understand.

                             Understand, you will change! If you do not change, you're setting yourself up for failure.  Let me spoil something for you, you can't take two people, I don't care how in love you think you are, and move them in together 24/7 and expect them to be this happy lovey dovey couple ALL of the time! NO, it just won't work. Y'all have to find how to recognize your differences and work together to find a way to make it work. 

Understand, your vows! Perhaps I should say RESPECT THEM, but that will be another topic.

Y'all I can't stress this enough, YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR WORD!!!!!!!! At least that's what my daddy always taught me! I think our generation is caught up with the idea of having the most PERFECT engagement ring, for the most PERFECT picture to post online, followed by planning this outrageous wedding, because the more outrageous it is, the better it will look on INSTAGRAM. Have we forgot the actual PROMISE we are giving not only to our spouse but to our friends, family and our LORD?! While you're planning your PERFECT "wedding", UNDERSTAND that wedding will be the only PERFECT thing about your marriage!

When saying your vows,  in sickness and health, for better for worse, you are promising you'll NEVER GIVE UP in any situation, the good/the bad.  Keep that word, understand those words! Y'all won't always get along! Things won't always be easy! Life itself is extremely stressful when you think about it, but giving up and filing for the big D is too easy! It is too easy to just run, but we all know, NOTHING WORTH HAVING comes easy, it takes hard work!!!!

Understand that God has got to be apart of Y'ALLS marriage. This I have personally learned and perhaps, He is what saved our marriage at one point. When you don't have The Lord in the center of anything you do, it is too easy for the devil to creep up! he loves doing it and he loves destroying anything in his path. When you have The Lord as your center, He shines on you.  He can heal any broken part of you. Even the broken part that may be effecting your marriage!

• Technology

Technology can be a wonderful thing! If your spouse is away, FaceTime is wonderful. When you're alone, playing a video game may pass the time if that is your thing. But technology is a BIG DISTRACTION! Ladies and Gents, I am guilty of this. I will admit there have been times that I paid more attention to my iPhone than I did to my husband sitting right there next to me. We have got to put DOWN the cell phones, xbox controllers and ipads! You have to spend quality, uninterrupted time together! You can NOT build a solid relationship or marriage through an iPhone! You may be able to "create one" on your social media page but please take a close look at what is really going on! LOOK UP FROM THE SCREENS! CHERISH EVERY WAKING SECOND YOU GET WITH YOUR LOVE!  Let me put it this way:

Let your spouse distract you from your technology!!!!!!

• SURPRISE!!!

Never stop surprising each other! Come on, surprises are fun and are always nice to receive! Also, it feels good to surprise your spouse! The look on his face is priceless, how can you not be happy! It doesn't have to always be big, expensive surprises but even writing a small note in a lunch you packed, might make his day! Care about their happiness and not just your own!

• "Happy wife, Happy life!"

Am I right or what?! Well kind of! LADIES, it is not just a mans job to make and keep you happy! You have to make your man happy! Perhaps I'll say

"happy husband, happy home"

(if you have any better ones let me know!) :)

Marriage is not a one-way street! It is something you both have to work for! 

• RESPECT:

Need I say more?!

• CARE

YOU HAVE TO CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING! Care enough that you never stop trying!

• "I'm sorry"

Be quick to say, "I am sorry!" and even if you're still pissed give each other a hug! SUCK IT UP AND DO IT,just once for me! I promise you will feel better! 

In a fight, take a step back look at YOURSELF, lower your voice and breathe! We will never agree 100% on everything and realize that! Have an adult conversation on why you're upset.... Then let it go and DO NOT CARRY it with you in the future.  

Hugs are great! :) Any time I got in trouble as a kid, my dad would follow up yelling at me with a hug and it always ended it and whatever I got in trouble about, I made sure not to do again. I guess I have carried that with me as a wife and mother!

• COMMIT 100%

After two years of marriage you WILL realize the honey has been licked right off of the HONEYMOON! What y'all are left with is just a moon on a dark starless night! It will be no longer sweet tasting!

I challenge you to take that dark night and use its moon as a guiding light! Y'all are a team! Y'all also made a promise to each other! Like I said before, you are only as good as your word. DO NOT be a quitter! Find a way to make it work.

Talk. Love. Forgive. RESPECT

We have a whole life to live with each other. Don't give up so soon. Be above the statistics! Show everyone YOUNG love does and can last!

Most importantly, FAMILY is FOREVER! You became family on the day y'all wed! DO NOT give up on family, perfect or not.

With much love,

Col